Effective communication is key to positive partnerships with parents. It builds understanding and trust. When you work in partnership with parents, you’ll all be better able to work together to support children’s wellbeing and development. That’s why in every interaction with parents, one of your goals is to strengthen your partnership with them.

The 12 best tips for effective communication with parents: for educators

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1. Be an active listener

Listening is the foundation of effective communication. When you listen well, you get more information about children and their families. You also get the full benefit of parents’ in-depth knowledge of their children. And you show parents that you value their experience, ideas and opinions and take their concerns seriously.

Respect and sensitivity are key to effective communication

• Let parents know you’re listening and interested by nodding or saying ‘Uh huh’ occasionally.
• Try to understand parents’ perspectives, even if you disagree with what they’re saying. Put yourself in their shoes. For example, ‘It sounds like you felt judged as a parent’.
• Let parents finish what they’re saying before you speak. Then summarise what parents have said, and check that you’ve understood correctly.
• Check on the feeling as well as the content of what parents have said. For example, ‘Am I right in saying that you felt upset when the other parent told Taj to stop shouting?’
• Use open-ended questions to get more information if you need it. Open-ended questions give people a chance to expand on what they’re saying rather than just saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’. For example, ‘What sort of things did Taj do when he was naughty?’ Feel free to download and use our list of magic questions to ask parents to help you build rapport with them.

2. Speak to parents in a clear, respectful and considerate way

Here are some ideas for this kind of speaking:

• Use ordinary, everyday language that parents can understand. Parents are likely to find professional jargon daunting and alienating, so it’s best avoided.
• Think before you speak, especially when you’re talking with parents about difficult or sensitive issues.
• Find and share the positives about a child’s learning, behaviour and experiences.
• Be open and honest. Give parents accurate information on what you observe.
• Ask for parents’ input. For example, ‘How can we help Chloe learn to take part in group work without distracting other children?’
• Let parents make the decisions. You can suggest ideas, but it’s up to them to decide what to do next. For example, ‘We could try a behaviour chart. Or Chloe could start with short group activities and build up to longer ones. What do you think?’
• If you’re not sure about what to say next or how to say it, you don’t have to respond straight away. For example, ‘I’d like to think about that more. Can I get back to you tomorrow?’

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3. Address concerns with a problem-solving approach

This approach involves:

Parents are experts on their own children

• identifying the problem
• brainstorming as many solutions as possible
• jointly evaluating the pros and cons
• deciding on a solution to try
• putting the solution into action
• reviewing the solution after a period of time.

4. Keep a positive attitude about working together

Build a cooperative effort by viewing emerging skills and challenging behaviour as something you can work on together.
Discuss challenging behaviour without judgment. Try to focus on facts and whether the behaviour is appropriate. For example, ‘Ben drew on the wall and said that another child did it. This behaviour isn’t OK’.

5. Keep your expectations realistic about what can be done at home

Parents may be able to do little about a problem like hitting if it seems related to the group experience and is taking place only in the early childhood setting. It’s inappropriate and ineffective for parents to punish a child for something that has taken place hours earlier. Make it clear that you are not asking parents to do that. Instead, inform them of what is taking place and tell them that you want to work together to come up to an agreement on how best handle the situation.

6. Talk about concerns when they come up

Problems usually don’t go away by themselves. And if you leave them to escalate, they might be more difficult to repair later.
Here are some tips for putting this approach into action:

• Prepare for conversations about difficult issues. This is because parents can feel upset and stressed by these conversations. If you think ahead about what you need to say and about the most sensitive and respectful way to say it, it can help your discussion go well.
• Explain what might contribute to the behaviour. This can help you and parents work out how to change the behaviour. For example, ‘Starting school can be challenging. Children often feel worried about getting into trouble’.
• Check what parents think about the issue. Remember that perceptions of what’s appropriate can differ between cultures or contexts. For example, ‘How does your family handle it when children don’t tell the truth?’
• Offer realistic strategies suited to each family. For example, if a child needs to make new friends, but she gets stressed in public, parents might start by inviting other children for playdates at home.

7. Invest in two-way communication

Communication does not only mean “to inform”, but it also includes asking questions. Try to establish mutual interaction, dialogue and exchange of information. Knowledge of children’s home situation helps teachers to be adaptive to their needs.

8. Communicate positive experiences

Don’t only contact parents in case of problems or challenging behaviours, but also when positive things occur, such as a celebration, achieving a learning outcome or a certain milestone.

9. Be sure to recognise the emotional investment parents have in their children

Acknowledge that you may be sensitive about the work you do with children too. The information you share may be received by parents as if it is a personal attack if you are not careful to phrase things sensitively.

10. Choose the right time to discuss concerns

Sometimes parents and teachers try to discuss concerns during drop-off or pickup. Things are generally hectic during this time; parents are in a hurry, children are tired, and teachers may be frustrated after dealing with a behaviour or a group of children all day. It is better to arrange another time to discuss a difficult situation or a skill you are concerned about.

11. Reflect

Engage in reflective practice and professional conversations with other educators about their everyday interactions with families. Professional learning activities may also build your confidence and capacity to build partnerships with families. Regularly reflect on how trust is established and maintained with families and whether the reciprocity within the relationship is working for all parties.

12. Be inclusive

Learn about and show respect for the background, cultural identity and strengths of each family to inform educator practices.

Links to the National Quality Standard

The importance of building collaborative partnerships with families is reflected under Quality Area 6 of the National Quality Standard (NQS), in particular:

Recourses

Photos by Jesse Coulter and One Tree Community Services/ References: ‘So this is normal too?’ – by Deborah Hewwiitt, RaisingChildren.net.au – The Australian parenting website, National Quality Framework